New Years is probably the only time of the year when I look at my life and think things like 'that really sucked' or 'most amazing time ever!'. The entire year and all of the holidays that we celebrate make us look back on times in our lives that we wouldn't normally.
- Valentines day reminds us of old lovers and how horrible past relationships were.
- St Patrick's Day makes us think about alcohol related activities and fun we may have had with friends, family and even people that we don't like so much anymore.
- Easter makes me think about childhood and the ways that I will celebrate with my little ones some day. It also makes me think about my future; how many children I will have, if I'll be a good mother.
- Summer time isn't a holiday but it always makes me think of childhood memories like running through the sprinklers or playing night games with friends.
- Halloween makes me think of the stories of all of the fictional and non-fictional characters adults and children dress like. It makes me think about their stories and also all of the past Halloween celebrations that I have taken place in.
- Thanksgiving, even though only celebrated here in the US, makes me think of all of the things that I am thankful for. It is also a powerful reminder to be tolerant and understand the history of things the way that they actually happened instead of just making up some happy story. It's a reminder that we have so much to be thankful for because of the sacrifices and hard times.
- Christmas is a time of love and family. I'm not a religious person but there are so many aspects of the holiday that make me happy and thoughtful. Christmas should be a reminder that you should treat people well and give back ALL times throughout the year.
I feel the two of them should be mentioned separately because they make me think of different things. New Year's Eve makes me think about the last year while New Year's Day makes me think about the next year and my hopes for it.
- New Year's Eve, tonight, I think about all of the things in my life that have changed and how those things have affected me. At the beginning of the year, M and I lived with his Father and step-mother after some very unfortunate circumstances involving other family. Although the circumstances made me feel weak and like I didn't have control, so many good things came out of the situation. I got to know my father-in-law and his wife better and I learned that they are some of the most amazing, loving people that I know.
In May, we moved into our own place. It's small but it's alright for now. The rent is really cheap and it's a home. When we first moved in, we had a problem with spiders. We hired somebody to come spray the house and then we had a problem with earwigs. After 4 times of them coming to spray, we have not seen a bug in months. We haven't been able to save up money like we thought we would but we have been able to afford to live mostly-comfortable while living here because of the price. M also started his new job in May. He's been there ever since and, even though the pay isn't wonderful, the insurance has been pretty good.
In September, after what felt like a very long time of trying, we found out that we are pregnant. We were, and still are, ecstatic. I never really wanted children before but, as soon as M and I met, I knew that I wanted to have a family with him. He is the most amazing thing to me and I am so happy to be taking this journey with him.
- New Year's Day, as sad as it may seem, makes me think of more negative things from the past year and what I can do to change them. I'm not a 'New Year's Resolution' maker; I'm more of a goal maker because goals can be small or large.
Most of the time, I'll think for a second or two on this day about losing weight but this year, it's the opposite. Not necessarily gaining weight but being healthy for the pregnancy. I've lost about 40 pounds since conceiving and, although it may be okay, I think that if I keep losing, it may become an issue so I will need to focus on eating more. Not more food, just more often to keep my metabolism going. I also think that I should be paying attention to WHAT I eat even more than I do now. I rarely eat meat and don't eat fast food very often but I think it's time to cut the meat completely out and, if I have to eat out, get something healthy instead of letting myself indulge.
We are in our own place now but it isn't big enough to have a baby! Not only that, it isn't big enough for my Boxer, Zelda, either and she is the second born (the cat was first). The biggest, toughest thing that I want for the New Year is a new home. I want something with a yard so Zelda can go outside when she needs to or even when she just wants to play. I also have to admit that a large back yard would be amazing because there's nothing like sitting out on a summer day reading a good book (under an umbrella, of course). We really wanted to buy a place but M has just a few more things to do to bring his credit up to par so it isn't a possibility for us yet.
The most important thing about the New Year to me is just having our happy, healthy baby boy. The idea of delivering is horrifying but I have a lot more research to do on that as well. I know that he will change our lives forever and it is a change that M and I welcome and look forward to.
I think most of the things for next year come down to preparing for the baby. We need to collect things, I want to have a nursery ready for him and have all of the supplies that we need so, when we come home, we can all have time as a family and bond.
Sorry for the very long post. I could write more and more but I won't. Some things can stay in my head. :)
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
17 weeks, 4 days - I felt the baby move this morning!
M and I were lying in bed this morning (he works afternoons so it was more like late morning) just snuggling and trying to talk ourselves out of getting out of bed. My cat, Sammy, kept trying to climb on me to sleep, just like she does every night, and I kept kicking her off. Finally, I decided to let her just lay one me. She climbed on my stomach (I was laying on my back), stood there for a second (long enough for me to remember that her little feet felt like daggers with all of her weight on them) and then decided to disappear onto my legs instead. Seconds after she moved, it felt like the baby was doing flips inside of me! I really think that he must have been trying to get comfortable again after Sammy had woken him. I questioned at first but I felt him moving around in there all day! I think he must like Mexican food because he moved around a lot after I got done eating too. LOL!
Of course, I told M as soon as I felt it. I feel kind of bad because he can't feel it too so I tried to find the best way to describe it.
'You know that feeling that you get in your stomach when you're riding a rollercoaster and it drops? Well, it feels like that but your stomach doesn't try to jump out of your throat, it just moves a lot.'
It's so crazy different! I'll be able to feel him moving around in there now. It's like it was just over night. I can't help but to wonder if it's the large movements that I'm feeling and he's just moving around a ton in there or if I'm feeling all of it.
We have our full anatomy scan coming up in January and I'm hoping to be able to get lots of pictures from it to post! They should be awesome because they will count his fingers and toes and make sure that all of his organs are there, among many other things they will look at!
Also, a lot of my facebook friends were asking for a belly picture so I took one yesterday. :)
Of course, I told M as soon as I felt it. I feel kind of bad because he can't feel it too so I tried to find the best way to describe it.
'You know that feeling that you get in your stomach when you're riding a rollercoaster and it drops? Well, it feels like that but your stomach doesn't try to jump out of your throat, it just moves a lot.'
It's so crazy different! I'll be able to feel him moving around in there now. It's like it was just over night. I can't help but to wonder if it's the large movements that I'm feeling and he's just moving around a ton in there or if I'm feeling all of it.
We have our full anatomy scan coming up in January and I'm hoping to be able to get lots of pictures from it to post! They should be awesome because they will count his fingers and toes and make sure that all of his organs are there, among many other things they will look at!
Also, a lot of my facebook friends were asking for a belly picture so I took one yesterday. :)
Friday, December 28, 2012
Gender Check Ultrasound...
12/20 - 16 weeks, 1 day
OB appointment. I lost another 5 pounds since last month but the weight loss is slowing down and the doctor said that I should be gaining soon. I only had a few small complaints like sleeping problems, headaches, backaches and a few other things that I can't remember right now. The doctor said that I need to be drinking more water. Baby's heart rate was about 120 BPM. The doctor said everything looks great.
12/21 - 16 weeks, 1 day
We went in for the gender check ultrasound because I couldn't wait until after Christmas to tell our families. We sat in the waiting room for longer than expected but I think the anxiety of the whole thing wasn't too bad; not to mention that I woke up late and drank a bottle of water and a soda only a half an hour before we got there (they recommend an hour so the baby is active). We were led to a comfortable sized room with a monitor for the tech to use and a large TV hanging from the corner of the room so me and M could watch everything that happened.
Here are the results:
OB appointment. I lost another 5 pounds since last month but the weight loss is slowing down and the doctor said that I should be gaining soon. I only had a few small complaints like sleeping problems, headaches, backaches and a few other things that I can't remember right now. The doctor said that I need to be drinking more water. Baby's heart rate was about 120 BPM. The doctor said everything looks great.
12/21 - 16 weeks, 1 day
We went in for the gender check ultrasound because I couldn't wait until after Christmas to tell our families. We sat in the waiting room for longer than expected but I think the anxiety of the whole thing wasn't too bad; not to mention that I woke up late and drank a bottle of water and a soda only a half an hour before we got there (they recommend an hour so the baby is active). We were led to a comfortable sized room with a monitor for the tech to use and a large TV hanging from the corner of the room so me and M could watch everything that happened.
Here are the results:
Monday, December 17, 2012
Questions for accomplished mommas...
I have a lot of questions that I'm not sure who to ask. I don't personally feel like they're embarrassing but I feel like i may embarrass others by asking. If you can answer any of the questions below, feel free to answer anonymously if you'd like but please answer if you can!
1. After I start feeling the baby move, is it going to make sex awkward? I just imagine being in the middle of doing the deed and feeling the baby move. Will it kill the mood?
2. Breast feeding. Ha. I guess it isn't really a question but it's something that I'm very nervous about. I'm not nervous about doing it later on. I'm more nervous about the first time and getting into the swing of it. I intend on exclusively breastfeeding and not supplementing with formula. Any tips about this would be awesome!
- I think it would help to hear first-time breastfeeding stories
- Tips and tricks to ensure a good milk supply.
- Things that are not safe to eat or drink while breastfeeding. What if I do have a drink? What do I do then?
- Solutions to normal breastfeeding conditions like sore nipples, blocked ducts, etc.
- Pumping tips. Freezing or refrigerating? How often to pump when at home and when not at home, etc.
- Comfortable nursing positions? It seems strange but, no matter how many I play out in my head, they don't seem comfortable for mother or baby.
Thank you so much for reading. If you think you know somebody that can answer some of these questions, please feel free to direct them to my page! I have a lot more questions but I'll save them for another post and another day.
1. After I start feeling the baby move, is it going to make sex awkward? I just imagine being in the middle of doing the deed and feeling the baby move. Will it kill the mood?
2. Breast feeding. Ha. I guess it isn't really a question but it's something that I'm very nervous about. I'm not nervous about doing it later on. I'm more nervous about the first time and getting into the swing of it. I intend on exclusively breastfeeding and not supplementing with formula. Any tips about this would be awesome!
- I think it would help to hear first-time breastfeeding stories
- Tips and tricks to ensure a good milk supply.
- Things that are not safe to eat or drink while breastfeeding. What if I do have a drink? What do I do then?
- Solutions to normal breastfeeding conditions like sore nipples, blocked ducts, etc.
- Pumping tips. Freezing or refrigerating? How often to pump when at home and when not at home, etc.
- Comfortable nursing positions? It seems strange but, no matter how many I play out in my head, they don't seem comfortable for mother or baby.
Thank you so much for reading. If you think you know somebody that can answer some of these questions, please feel free to direct them to my page! I have a lot more questions but I'll save them for another post and another day.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
15 weeks, 4 days
I realize how easy I have life as a pregnant woman. I'm constantly reading about women who have crippling morning sickness or who are put on bed-rest early on. I still feel like I have the right to complain about the little things like headaches, backaches and the inability to sleep (or stay asleep).
I also have to say that I am fully aware of how lucky I am to have my husband. He has gone to every appointment that I've had, he was pretty good when I've had problems with food aversions or just not feeling well and he's tried to be very supportive of me the whole time. I've tried to educate myself on everything that I can about pregnancy and one of the ways that I figured I could get an accurate representation is by reading blogs and catching up on statistics about pregnancy, symptoms and relationships. Even when we go to the doctor's office, they always seem so surprised that M is there with me again. This is all not to mention all of the single mothers out there who go through all of it alone. My husband is amazing.
Anyway, back to my complaints about pregnancy. I'm dying to feel the baby move! They say that it's usually between 16-22 weeks for most women to feel the baby and, being overweight, I should be further toward the 20ish week mark but I feel like feeling the baby move will make it feel more real. I don't feel pregnant at all. I still find the whole thing so hard to believe but, from what I've read, that is still normal at this point for most women so I'm not too worried about it.
I've decided that I don't find sleeping enjoyable anymore. I either have horrible, emotional dreams or I can't sleep at all. Yesterday, I finally got to nod off for a 3 hour nap and it was amazing.
The best thing about being in the second trimester is that the food aversions have mostly gone away and I'm actually hungry now. It makes me happy to finally be able to eat food and enough of it to feel like I have eaten. :)
I wanted to make a post about things that I'm thankful for because I feel like every post before this has been so negative!
As a very last note, our ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby is on the 21st and I can't wait. I have to be honest when I say that I'm more excited about getting to see the baby move around than I am to to find out the gender.
I also have to say that I am fully aware of how lucky I am to have my husband. He has gone to every appointment that I've had, he was pretty good when I've had problems with food aversions or just not feeling well and he's tried to be very supportive of me the whole time. I've tried to educate myself on everything that I can about pregnancy and one of the ways that I figured I could get an accurate representation is by reading blogs and catching up on statistics about pregnancy, symptoms and relationships. Even when we go to the doctor's office, they always seem so surprised that M is there with me again. This is all not to mention all of the single mothers out there who go through all of it alone. My husband is amazing.
Anyway, back to my complaints about pregnancy. I'm dying to feel the baby move! They say that it's usually between 16-22 weeks for most women to feel the baby and, being overweight, I should be further toward the 20ish week mark but I feel like feeling the baby move will make it feel more real. I don't feel pregnant at all. I still find the whole thing so hard to believe but, from what I've read, that is still normal at this point for most women so I'm not too worried about it.
I've decided that I don't find sleeping enjoyable anymore. I either have horrible, emotional dreams or I can't sleep at all. Yesterday, I finally got to nod off for a 3 hour nap and it was amazing.
The best thing about being in the second trimester is that the food aversions have mostly gone away and I'm actually hungry now. It makes me happy to finally be able to eat food and enough of it to feel like I have eaten. :)
I wanted to make a post about things that I'm thankful for because I feel like every post before this has been so negative!
As a very last note, our ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby is on the 21st and I can't wait. I have to be honest when I say that I'm more excited about getting to see the baby move around than I am to to find out the gender.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Date for gender check ultrasound
My 16 week appointment is on the 20th of this month and we have an appointment for a gender check ultrasound for the next day. I'll be announcing it online on the 25th or 26th after the holidays though.
14 weeks, 5 days
I've started to have a little but of morning sickness this week. No vomiting, just nausea. It seems pretty manageable most of the time but can make it difficult to eat sometimes. The worst part is that if I get hungry, I get nauseated and can't eat so I get even more nauseated. I just try not to let myself get hungry.
In my first trimester, I lost 14 pounds. The doctor said that some loss can be completely normal in the first trimester and not to be too worried unless I keep losing weight through my second trimester. I've been trying to take in more calories per day but I'm finding it really hard to do. I've started by trying to add calories to everything that I do eat but I'm not sure if I've gained anything yet.
I've been having some cramping the last few days. It was pretty persistent the day before yesterday and then tapered off. The pain wasn't too bad so I didn't know if I should call anybody. There was no bleeding so I decided not to and just to bring it up at my next appointment. It was a different kind of pain that radiated from my lower abdomen to my vagina. When I googled it, that's the same way that a lot of people described the way contractions feel. I imagine that it would be normal to have some uterine pain at this point as it's expanding but I keep wondering if the kind of pain is normal.
When I don't have problems sleeping, I wake up to some weird dream; usually more like a nightmare. I've heard that strange dreams are completely normal during pregnancy but I wish my brain would leave my husband out of it. I love him and I hate waking up mad because the dreams felt so real! Sometimes I wake up every hour or so and have to change position a little bit and I have to admit that I feel like a little bit of a bad person for sleeping on my back for a small portion of the night. Everything that I've read says that sleeping on your back or even lying on your back for an extended period of time can cause issues with circulation to the fetus. I asked my husband for a pregnancy or body pillow for Christmas.
I went shopping yesterday and decided that I would check out some really cute sports bras that were on sale for super cheap. I grabbed the largest size that they had in a few different colors (almost knowing already that they wouldn't fit me) and then grabbed some other bras in the stores largest sizes to try on with them. Not one of them fit. I'm thinking that now I'm going to have to go to some super expensive specialty store to get a bra and I'm pretty pissed about it. I'm dreading finding out what cup size I am now since I was a DDD (or E) before pregnancy. None of my bras fit anymore so I've been almost exclusively relying on tank tops with shelves in them and one bra that is old and stretched to fit me (even though it's nowhere near the right size).
Other than the above complaints and being teary eyed at everything, pregnancy has been pretty good to me. I haven't had morning sickness to the point of vomiting and that's a big positive. I'm even thinking about going back to work for a while.
Bras
In my first trimester, I lost 14 pounds. The doctor said that some loss can be completely normal in the first trimester and not to be too worried unless I keep losing weight through my second trimester. I've been trying to take in more calories per day but I'm finding it really hard to do. I've started by trying to add calories to everything that I do eat but I'm not sure if I've gained anything yet.
I've been having some cramping the last few days. It was pretty persistent the day before yesterday and then tapered off. The pain wasn't too bad so I didn't know if I should call anybody. There was no bleeding so I decided not to and just to bring it up at my next appointment. It was a different kind of pain that radiated from my lower abdomen to my vagina. When I googled it, that's the same way that a lot of people described the way contractions feel. I imagine that it would be normal to have some uterine pain at this point as it's expanding but I keep wondering if the kind of pain is normal.
When I don't have problems sleeping, I wake up to some weird dream; usually more like a nightmare. I've heard that strange dreams are completely normal during pregnancy but I wish my brain would leave my husband out of it. I love him and I hate waking up mad because the dreams felt so real! Sometimes I wake up every hour or so and have to change position a little bit and I have to admit that I feel like a little bit of a bad person for sleeping on my back for a small portion of the night. Everything that I've read says that sleeping on your back or even lying on your back for an extended period of time can cause issues with circulation to the fetus. I asked my husband for a pregnancy or body pillow for Christmas.
I went shopping yesterday and decided that I would check out some really cute sports bras that were on sale for super cheap. I grabbed the largest size that they had in a few different colors (almost knowing already that they wouldn't fit me) and then grabbed some other bras in the stores largest sizes to try on with them. Not one of them fit. I'm thinking that now I'm going to have to go to some super expensive specialty store to get a bra and I'm pretty pissed about it. I'm dreading finding out what cup size I am now since I was a DDD (or E) before pregnancy. None of my bras fit anymore so I've been almost exclusively relying on tank tops with shelves in them and one bra that is old and stretched to fit me (even though it's nowhere near the right size).
Other than the above complaints and being teary eyed at everything, pregnancy has been pretty good to me. I haven't had morning sickness to the point of vomiting and that's a big positive. I'm even thinking about going back to work for a while.
Bras
Saturday, December 1, 2012
13 weeks, 3 days
Things have been pretty good overall. I can't really complain at all! A little but of nausea but no vomiting so I'm still super happy about that! I thought I updated with our 12 week ultrasound but I didn't so I'm posting it now! I also don't know If I'll be doing any more bump pictures for a bit. I've been losing weight and there is nothing to see.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
8 weeks, 4 days
Everything is going great. I think it may actually be a little too great for me though. I don't even feel pregnant. I don't have morning sickness and I think it makes me feel like the whole thing isn't real. I still have slightly sore breasts that is getting larger and if I don't eat every 3 hours or so, I feel like is been days. Other than that, there's nothing to remind me every day that there is a life inside of me. After trying to conceive for what seems like forever, it just doesn't feel real yet!
On a different note, we found out what was causing the bleeding (adult content warning). Clitoral orgasms. No, really. Sex is fine but I can't have the 'other' orgasm because it makes me bleed. I'm happy that we know what caused it but ay the same time, wtf? I don't have morning sickness but... This. Speaking of some strange side effects of pregnancy, last week, I had 'swollen tastebuds'. Ever hear of that before? Me neither!
My fist actual appointment is tomorrow. It's my intake and I'm super nervous. I always feel like we're going to go in for an ultrasound at some point and there will just be nothing. It scares the crap or of me.
Oh! We also told M's family and made it public on facebook! It may make things a little more intimidating but it's nice to have everybody know! I wanted to shout it from the rooftops from day one.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
7 weeks update!
We got the ultrasound today. Everything is great! There was a little bit of blood in there but it is nowhere near the gestational sack so that means that, even though I may bleed a little more, I should be safe. :) The ultrasound went so well that the nurse said that we don't need to do blood tests. We made appointments for 8 weeks and 12 weeks (actually 11 because of Thanksgiving) and I am super psyched about it!
We saw the heartbeat! 124 beats per minute! It was so amazing! They said that it will raise and then lower again over the next 7 and a half months.
We told my dad today too. He was pretty happy about it and congratulated us. We still haven't told anybody in M's family so I feel kind of bad that almost my whole family knows! I'd really like to go all out when we tell his dad but that may not happen as it's really hard to get his dad and step-mom in the same place at the same time. :( Super excited to tell them though!
Things are good! Still no morning sickness! Replace it with nasal congestion, headaches, sore breasts, fatigue, having to pee every 30 seconds and SUPER strange dreams.
We saw the heartbeat! 124 beats per minute! It was so amazing! They said that it will raise and then lower again over the next 7 and a half months.
We told my dad today too. He was pretty happy about it and congratulated us. We still haven't told anybody in M's family so I feel kind of bad that almost my whole family knows! I'd really like to go all out when we tell his dad but that may not happen as it's really hard to get his dad and step-mom in the same place at the same time. :( Super excited to tell them though!
Things are good! Still no morning sickness! Replace it with nasal congestion, headaches, sore breasts, fatigue, having to pee every 30 seconds and SUPER strange dreams.
5 weeks, 4 days - 7 weeks
At 5 weeks, 4 days (9/9/2012), M and I left on a road trip for vacation. We had a long drive ahead of us and I was making sure to get plenty of water and walk around a lot when we stopped for gas. 2 hours before we reached our destination, we stopped, I went to the bathroom and I realized that I was bleeding. I was instructed by the answering service of my OB office to go straight to the nearest emergency room so that's what we did. When we got there, it was a dingy place with bugs crawling on the floor and a full waiting room. We waited and got in within an hour or so. The took a urine sample, a blood sample and did an ultrasound. M got to see the ultrasound but I didn't. Then they told us that if there was anything abnormal or anything that we should be concerned about, they would call us. We didn't hear from them our entire vacation so we assumed that everything was fine.
On our way home, I had some extreme cramping and talked to my nurse. She said that it can be normal sometimes but she didn't recommend me to stop at the ER again because I had an appointment as soon as I got back. Then, we decided to cancel the appointment so we could wait for the out of state records from vacation to come in.
We got back in town on Monday, September 15th and my OB office had to try for 2 days before they finally got my results sent over from the out of state ER. The nurse called this morning and informed me that I was very 'in the gray' and that we need to check if everything is okay. My HCG was at a good level at 12,000. On the ultrasound, there was a gestational sack but there was no 'fetal pole'. According to the nurse, this could mean one of many things;
1. It isn't a viable pregnancy,
2. I had a miscarriage,
3. Everything is fine and it was just too early to see one.
I now have an appointment today at 1:pm for an ultrasound. They should see fetal heart tones. If they don't see fetal heart tones, it means one of the first two things. I really don't want to think about it right now but I'm really nervous.
On our way home, I had some extreme cramping and talked to my nurse. She said that it can be normal sometimes but she didn't recommend me to stop at the ER again because I had an appointment as soon as I got back. Then, we decided to cancel the appointment so we could wait for the out of state records from vacation to come in.
We got back in town on Monday, September 15th and my OB office had to try for 2 days before they finally got my results sent over from the out of state ER. The nurse called this morning and informed me that I was very 'in the gray' and that we need to check if everything is okay. My HCG was at a good level at 12,000. On the ultrasound, there was a gestational sack but there was no 'fetal pole'. According to the nurse, this could mean one of many things;
1. It isn't a viable pregnancy,
2. I had a miscarriage,
3. Everything is fine and it was just too early to see one.
I now have an appointment today at 1:pm for an ultrasound. They should see fetal heart tones. If they don't see fetal heart tones, it means one of the first two things. I really don't want to think about it right now but I'm really nervous.
Monday, October 1, 2012
4 weeks, 5 days: The nurse says everything seems normal.
It is so hard not to tell everybody that I know! We've decided to wait until the first ultrasound (which we were assuming would be at the end of the first trimester) but when I talked to the nurse today, she scheduled an ultrasound for my 7 week appointment on October 15th. I want to make sure that everything is normal. I'm just wondering, if it's all normal at 7 weeks, should I start telling people? It'll be my first prenatal appointment and I'm super nervous and I don't really know what to expect. I've read a lot of things that say that I'll have options of what testing to do and there are so many tests! I've got a lot of research to do before then!
It seems like there is something every day. This is my first pregnancy so things are pretty confusing and I don't really know what to expect. Sometimes, I have a lot of symptoms. other times, I don't even feel pregnant. When am I supposed to feel pregnant? It may sound like a strange question but I'm not asking for morning sickness or anything. I'm assuming it may feel more real after the first ultrasound.
We are leaving in a week to go on a week long vacation so I'm a little nervous. We're going to California and going to hit up Disneyland. We bought the tickets before we knew we were pregnant but I still think it will be just as fun (minus some rides). The nurse at my OB's office assured me that I could call in any time I have questions and they would return my calls and answer my questions right away. It feels good to finally have a good Doctor. My old OB/GYN wouldn't have even done any of the blood tests that this doctor has done for me.
I'll tell you one thing though, I have been researching birthing options and I have decided that an episiotomy is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. I am intending on doing a lot of perineum stretches way later on so I can drop the chances of having to get one. I've also been thinking about a midwife or Doula. I am pretty positive that I would like to do everything naturally and I've been reading some statistics about the low instances of episiotomies, c-sections and all kinds of other things. This is one of those times when it would be great if everybody knew so I could just facebook the question or something.
It seems like there is something every day. This is my first pregnancy so things are pretty confusing and I don't really know what to expect. Sometimes, I have a lot of symptoms. other times, I don't even feel pregnant. When am I supposed to feel pregnant? It may sound like a strange question but I'm not asking for morning sickness or anything. I'm assuming it may feel more real after the first ultrasound.
We are leaving in a week to go on a week long vacation so I'm a little nervous. We're going to California and going to hit up Disneyland. We bought the tickets before we knew we were pregnant but I still think it will be just as fun (minus some rides). The nurse at my OB's office assured me that I could call in any time I have questions and they would return my calls and answer my questions right away. It feels good to finally have a good Doctor. My old OB/GYN wouldn't have even done any of the blood tests that this doctor has done for me.
I'll tell you one thing though, I have been researching birthing options and I have decided that an episiotomy is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. I am intending on doing a lot of perineum stretches way later on so I can drop the chances of having to get one. I've also been thinking about a midwife or Doula. I am pretty positive that I would like to do everything naturally and I've been reading some statistics about the low instances of episiotomies, c-sections and all kinds of other things. This is one of those times when it would be great if everybody knew so I could just facebook the question or something.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Progesterone supplements
The nurse called back last night right after my post. Actually, they has the doctor on call talk to me. He called in a prescription for progesterone for me to start right away. Supplementing isn't a big deal but it is definitely making me feel more comfortable.
The nurse called this morning to see how it was all going and make sure I started the progesterone. Sure also talked to the doctor and the doctor said to stop monitoring my temps! Sure said to throw the thermometer away. Haha! I guess I'm going to stop taking my temps.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Blood work and urine tests...
Let me give the numbers and dates first and then I'll make notes about how everything happened.
Cycle Day 1: 8/29 4 day period, normal pre-ovulatory temps after 97.3F-97.5F
-This was the first normal cycle temperature-wise that I've had so far so I was really hopeful in the beginning. I did not start this period using the Provera.
Cycle Day 5-9: 9/2-9/6 Taking Clomid
-Honestly, I wasn't as moody as I was last month but it was still there. The Clomid has a lot of side-effects but it's worth it. I think I should note that I am still taking Metformin and a Prenatal vitamin.
Cycle Day 16: 9/13 Ovulation Dip in temperature 97.0F
-I've seen the dip before. So, that wasn't a big deal but the rise in temperature the next day WAS a big deal. It was the highest that I had ever seen it and it kept rising after that!
Cycle Day 17: 9/14 Post-Ovulation Temperature Rise! 97.8F
Cycle Day 20: 9/17 Implantation Dip
-This almost had me thinking that I was done and we would have to do another cycle. The drop in temperature is always the worst time of the month for me. I started having sore breasts right about this time and thought it meant that I was going to start my period.
Cycle Day 25: 9/22 Serum Progesterone blood test = 13
-The doctor sent me in to get the test to see if I had ovulated. I did.
Cycle Day 28: 9/25 Positive HCG Home Pregnancy Test
-Let me tell you what tipped me off. We went to get Thai food because I wanted Indian food so bad! It was the most disgusting thing that I have ever eaten! Let me say that it isn't because it was actually disgusting. M tried it and thought it was just as delicious as always. I usually love bamboo but it tasted rancid! I took 4 tests that night (2 of one brand and 2 of another) 2 of them were positive. I took 5 tests the next morning. They were all positive. I am technically 4 weeks and one day along and due on June 5th.
I made my Doctor's appointments with a new Doctor. Mine made several mistakes including not updating my insurance information and sending me to the wrong lab for blood draw! They made an 8 week appointment and a 12 week appointment.
Cycle Day 30: 9/27 Drop in Basal Body temperature to coverline 97.5 degrees F.
-A lot of things that I have read say that you should stop taking your temperature after you get a positive but I wanted to wait for the Doctor to make that call when I see her. I saw this drop in temperature and freaked out. The nurse at my OBs office sent in an order for blood testing for HCG and Progesterone. The HCG to make sure that my body is making it at the rate that it needs to (I have to go back Saturday for a second one). The Progesterone is to make sure that it is higher than it was last time.
The results that we were looking for:
HCG >5 means pregnancy. Mine was 64 today and should be around 130 on Saturday.
Progesterone should be over 20 if my body is making it at a normal rate. If not, I can be supplemented for my first trimester. My result was 15 which is low. I am going to be calling the doctor on call tonight to find out if I need to supplement right away.
Long story short, we're pregnant!
Cycle Day 1: 8/29 4 day period, normal pre-ovulatory temps after 97.3F-97.5F
-This was the first normal cycle temperature-wise that I've had so far so I was really hopeful in the beginning. I did not start this period using the Provera.
Cycle Day 5-9: 9/2-9/6 Taking Clomid
-Honestly, I wasn't as moody as I was last month but it was still there. The Clomid has a lot of side-effects but it's worth it. I think I should note that I am still taking Metformin and a Prenatal vitamin.
Cycle Day 16: 9/13 Ovulation Dip in temperature 97.0F
-I've seen the dip before. So, that wasn't a big deal but the rise in temperature the next day WAS a big deal. It was the highest that I had ever seen it and it kept rising after that!
Cycle Day 17: 9/14 Post-Ovulation Temperature Rise! 97.8F
Cycle Day 20: 9/17 Implantation Dip
-This almost had me thinking that I was done and we would have to do another cycle. The drop in temperature is always the worst time of the month for me. I started having sore breasts right about this time and thought it meant that I was going to start my period.
Cycle Day 25: 9/22 Serum Progesterone blood test = 13
-The doctor sent me in to get the test to see if I had ovulated. I did.
Cycle Day 28: 9/25 Positive HCG Home Pregnancy Test
-Let me tell you what tipped me off. We went to get Thai food because I wanted Indian food so bad! It was the most disgusting thing that I have ever eaten! Let me say that it isn't because it was actually disgusting. M tried it and thought it was just as delicious as always. I usually love bamboo but it tasted rancid! I took 4 tests that night (2 of one brand and 2 of another) 2 of them were positive. I took 5 tests the next morning. They were all positive. I am technically 4 weeks and one day along and due on June 5th.
I made my Doctor's appointments with a new Doctor. Mine made several mistakes including not updating my insurance information and sending me to the wrong lab for blood draw! They made an 8 week appointment and a 12 week appointment.
Cycle Day 30: 9/27 Drop in Basal Body temperature to coverline 97.5 degrees F.
-A lot of things that I have read say that you should stop taking your temperature after you get a positive but I wanted to wait for the Doctor to make that call when I see her. I saw this drop in temperature and freaked out. The nurse at my OBs office sent in an order for blood testing for HCG and Progesterone. The HCG to make sure that my body is making it at the rate that it needs to (I have to go back Saturday for a second one). The Progesterone is to make sure that it is higher than it was last time.
The results that we were looking for:
HCG >5 means pregnancy. Mine was 64 today and should be around 130 on Saturday.
Progesterone should be over 20 if my body is making it at a normal rate. If not, I can be supplemented for my first trimester. My result was 15 which is low. I am going to be calling the doctor on call tonight to find out if I need to supplement right away.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
My first Serum Progesterone Test
So, I went in for my first serum progesterone yesterday. I have to say that it was one of the most traumatic experiences with needles ever! The phlebotomist stuck my right arm first and he couldn't get anything out of it so he started moving the needle around! It was horrible. I told him that they always have better luck with my left arm because I have a super prominent vein. He switched to the left and I didn't even feel it! My right arm still hurts even now. :( I will be calling in for my test results probably sometime today. A higher-than-normal result on the test could mean pregnancy as well.
It's now day 26 of my cycle and I ovulated on day 16. My temps have been elevated since right after ovulation and have still not dropped which means that I could be pregnant. I think it's a small possibility but the possibility is still there! That's a good thing! This is the first time that I have really thought it was a 'maybe'. Oh, when I say my temperatures have been elevated, I mean WAY elevated. Before ovulation, I average about 97.5-97.7. My temps have been as high as 98.2 (this morning). It doesn't seem like a huge difference but it is when you are looking at BBT and temp differences! I have already taken a pregnancy test but it was negative. I think it would be too soon for a positive anyway though.
Now, I will tell you that we have been super excited to get pregnant and nothing would change how happy we would be but I need to have a small rant about the timing if we are right now. We are planning a vacation to Disneyland soon and I wouldn't get to ride all of the rides! Of course, it will still be magical and of course, we will both be far more happy than disappointed but what timing?! I'll update as soon as I know the results!
It's now day 26 of my cycle and I ovulated on day 16. My temps have been elevated since right after ovulation and have still not dropped which means that I could be pregnant. I think it's a small possibility but the possibility is still there! That's a good thing! This is the first time that I have really thought it was a 'maybe'. Oh, when I say my temperatures have been elevated, I mean WAY elevated. Before ovulation, I average about 97.5-97.7. My temps have been as high as 98.2 (this morning). It doesn't seem like a huge difference but it is when you are looking at BBT and temp differences! I have already taken a pregnancy test but it was negative. I think it would be too soon for a positive anyway though.
Now, I will tell you that we have been super excited to get pregnant and nothing would change how happy we would be but I need to have a small rant about the timing if we are right now. We are planning a vacation to Disneyland soon and I wouldn't get to ride all of the rides! Of course, it will still be magical and of course, we will both be far more happy than disappointed but what timing?! I'll update as soon as I know the results!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Crazy temps
I haven't really posted anything lately because I'm not sure what is going on. I'm currently on my second round of medication and on cycle day 20 or so. I've been keeping track of my temps and, before I ovulated, they were normal. Now they're all over the place. I know I should look for high temps after ovulation for pregnancy but they dropped to my normal bbt. This morning I got a really high measurement. 98.2. That's the highest I've ever gotten. What does it mean though?
I'll be going in for my serum progesterone test in about a week and I'm hoping to continue temping and find out what she'll of this means then.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Cycle 2
Sorry it's been so long since my last update. Things have been crazy busy! School started for me and M. We are already so busy with it that it's hard to find time to do anything! My classes require so much studying this semester that it's all I do!
We are starting round 2 of the Clomid. It's the same dosages as last month because I didn't get in for the serum progesterone on time last month. The good news is that all of my temperatures seem like they are right where they're supposed to be. I forget exactly what day we are on but it's the beginning of the fertile period and I am really hopeful this time! All of my temps have been under the cover line and they have all been 97.3 or 97.5. I'm just waiting for the dip or the rise that says ovulation!
I know that the Clomid may not be enough to make me ovulate if I haven't been but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't even know if I was ovulating before the Clomid.
I keep doing this optimist-pessimist thing where I feel so great about it and then, when things don't end up right, I just want to stop trying. It's something that we both want so bad but I am starting to feel the effects physically and emotionally. Sometimes, I even decide that I want to stop trying but then I change my mind back pretty quickly.
I think that I can even tell when I'm being emotional from the Progesterone or Clomid too. This cycle, I took one pill of progesterone and started later that day so I didn't have to finish them.
We are starting round 2 of the Clomid. It's the same dosages as last month because I didn't get in for the serum progesterone on time last month. The good news is that all of my temperatures seem like they are right where they're supposed to be. I forget exactly what day we are on but it's the beginning of the fertile period and I am really hopeful this time! All of my temps have been under the cover line and they have all been 97.3 or 97.5. I'm just waiting for the dip or the rise that says ovulation!
I know that the Clomid may not be enough to make me ovulate if I haven't been but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't even know if I was ovulating before the Clomid.
I keep doing this optimist-pessimist thing where I feel so great about it and then, when things don't end up right, I just want to stop trying. It's something that we both want so bad but I am starting to feel the effects physically and emotionally. Sometimes, I even decide that I want to stop trying but then I change my mind back pretty quickly.
I think that I can even tell when I'm being emotional from the Progesterone or Clomid too. This cycle, I took one pill of progesterone and started later that day so I didn't have to finish them.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Life gets in the way.
I started a new job. I hate it. Not to mention, I missed my serum progesterone test for this cycle so I have to start all over again on the same dosage. I've been temping the whole cycle and it doesn't make any sense to me! So many dips and rises where they shouldn't be! This stupid job made me miss my appointment but this time, I got an order so I can go to any lab for it. Hopefully that will make it easier. It'll mark the day that the polling and prodding begins.
I've had a horrible cold the past few days. I think that probably has to do with work too. M keeps telling me that all of my symptoms are a sign of pregnancy. He's trying so hard to be supportive.
Monday, August 6, 2012
side note
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention how emotional I've been lately. I'm sure it's from the medications but I really feel bad for M sometimes. I think about horrible things like 'why would he choose to be with me?' and 'what if he doesn't love me anymore?'. I know that I'm only thinking those things because of stress and hormones but I hate it! I know how horrible it is for me and I know it's horrible for him too when I have those moments. It helps a lot to know that our love will get us through it all.
We actually sat down and had a talk about how emotional I've been lately and why. I explained to him that it was really hard not knowing anybody that has been in our situation as far as having to work to conceive. I've told a few people that we are trying and I think that, every time I tell somebody, I wish they will tell me that they had the same problems or that they know other people who have had to work at it too. I never get that. I have a lot of people tell us to stop trying or that it'll happen when the time is right. I know that the good intentions are there but it doesn't help. Other than the comments that people make that they don't even know are hurtful, everybody is very supportive and excited for us. M hasn't really told anybody. I don't know why but part of me thinks that it's because he doesn't want to get their hopes up and have it not end up happening. Anyway, we talked and I realize now that he does really feel alone in this too. It isn't quite the same because it isn't his body that is failing us but he at least kind of understands how I feel.
I wish I could find some kind of infertility support group in my area. It would help loads to have somebody to talk to that understands.
We actually sat down and had a talk about how emotional I've been lately and why. I explained to him that it was really hard not knowing anybody that has been in our situation as far as having to work to conceive. I've told a few people that we are trying and I think that, every time I tell somebody, I wish they will tell me that they had the same problems or that they know other people who have had to work at it too. I never get that. I have a lot of people tell us to stop trying or that it'll happen when the time is right. I know that the good intentions are there but it doesn't help. Other than the comments that people make that they don't even know are hurtful, everybody is very supportive and excited for us. M hasn't really told anybody. I don't know why but part of me thinks that it's because he doesn't want to get their hopes up and have it not end up happening. Anyway, we talked and I realize now that he does really feel alone in this too. It isn't quite the same because it isn't his body that is failing us but he at least kind of understands how I feel.
I wish I could find some kind of infertility support group in my area. It would help loads to have somebody to talk to that understands.
Fertile days and not so interested in getting it on...
So, we have finally hit our 'fertile days'. We have been doing what we are supposed to do but I haven't been feeling too well. I think I'm severely dehydrated so we have been dealing with that as well. I've only been feeling horrible yesterday and today but that seems like enough. I couldn't even eat anything yesterday and, when I did, it felt like I was going to puke it up. I've been really dizzy and I'm trying to sleep it all off today. Three or four nights ago, I think I had a panic attack. M and I were arguing about something and I got a severe pain in the left side of my chest that wouldn't go away. Eventually, I forced myself to sit up and it was like it never happened. It really scared me.
The theme of the week seems to be 'phantom pains'. Last night, I started getting a pain in my back. It's right under my left shoulder blade pretty much right where the chest pain was but on the other side. It doesn't seem too bad but it doesn't seem like it's going away either.
Speaking of health things, we have an appointment to go and get our eyes checked on Wednesday and we are going to make a dentist appointment after that. Now that we have health insurance, we want to make sure that everything is taken care of.
We aren't going to be getting our school money for another two weeks or so. That means that the only money we have coming in is from M's job. I've been applying to jobs left and right and have a few interviews but I can't help but to wonder if I could even hold down a job while in school. We don't really need it but it would be nice to be able to get ahead on things for once or even to put some money away for a vacation. I have a tricky school schedule but I only go 3 days a week. That means that I could easily work part time and still have time for school (and homework, I hope).
Until we get our school money, things are a little tight but it isn't anything that we can't handle. It just means that we have to eat at home instead of going out and we have to do cheap or free things for entertainment. Oh, and we have to watch our use of gas. Everything else, we're good with but the gas thing sucks. All of my friends and family live about an hour drive away from where I am. That means that I won't be doing any social things for a little bit. Eating in should be simple. I went grocery shopping a couple of weeks ago and still have a ton of food. Cheap or free entertainment shouldn't be so bad either. We have coupon cards that allow us to do some things around home for super cheap or free. We also have Netflix and have shows that we watch together.
The theme of the week seems to be 'phantom pains'. Last night, I started getting a pain in my back. It's right under my left shoulder blade pretty much right where the chest pain was but on the other side. It doesn't seem too bad but it doesn't seem like it's going away either.
Speaking of health things, we have an appointment to go and get our eyes checked on Wednesday and we are going to make a dentist appointment after that. Now that we have health insurance, we want to make sure that everything is taken care of.
We aren't going to be getting our school money for another two weeks or so. That means that the only money we have coming in is from M's job. I've been applying to jobs left and right and have a few interviews but I can't help but to wonder if I could even hold down a job while in school. We don't really need it but it would be nice to be able to get ahead on things for once or even to put some money away for a vacation. I have a tricky school schedule but I only go 3 days a week. That means that I could easily work part time and still have time for school (and homework, I hope).
Until we get our school money, things are a little tight but it isn't anything that we can't handle. It just means that we have to eat at home instead of going out and we have to do cheap or free things for entertainment. Oh, and we have to watch our use of gas. Everything else, we're good with but the gas thing sucks. All of my friends and family live about an hour drive away from where I am. That means that I won't be doing any social things for a little bit. Eating in should be simple. I went grocery shopping a couple of weeks ago and still have a ton of food. Cheap or free entertainment shouldn't be so bad either. We have coupon cards that allow us to do some things around home for super cheap or free. We also have Netflix and have shows that we watch together.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Semen Analysis Results Are In!
So, I finally called the doctor to get the results for the semen analysis M was subjected to. They told me that, not only does everything look great, but his count is really high. I have to admit that I was super happy when they told me that but, at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about what that means. Whatever the reason is that we can't get pregnant, I'm responsible for it. We haven't even finished off our first round of the Clomid yet but it made me feel horrible. I'm happy that everything with M is great but it really damaged my ego to know that it's my fault.
We are on day number 4 of the clomid cycle and day 8 of my cycle. That means that tomorrow is my last day of taking the Clomid and then I get to go back into the doctor's office on day 25 of my cycle so he can do a serum progesterone test. He says that the test will tell us if I have ovulated. I'm still hopeful that the first time will be the charm for us but I'm not expecting it.
I just can't stop wondering why we haven't been able to conceive. The first thing that keeps coming into my head is my weight. I lost some as of my last appointment but it isn't enough to make that much of a difference yet. I've been taking my Metformin every day on time so maybe I have lost some but I don't keep a scale in the house so I'm not for sure. The 3 pills a day of 500 milligrams of Metformin are supposed to help me lose the weight faster but I'm wondering if it's still enough. I almost feel like the side effects go away when the pills stop being effective.
I also feel like this is the only thing that I think about anymore! I'm almost to the point where I just want to give up on trying but I know that won't change anything. It would only make how I feel about matters even worse. I find small distractions and dive into them. I guess it isn't a bad thing but it's obvious that it's a distraction.
We are on day number 4 of the clomid cycle and day 8 of my cycle. That means that tomorrow is my last day of taking the Clomid and then I get to go back into the doctor's office on day 25 of my cycle so he can do a serum progesterone test. He says that the test will tell us if I have ovulated. I'm still hopeful that the first time will be the charm for us but I'm not expecting it.
I just can't stop wondering why we haven't been able to conceive. The first thing that keeps coming into my head is my weight. I lost some as of my last appointment but it isn't enough to make that much of a difference yet. I've been taking my Metformin every day on time so maybe I have lost some but I don't keep a scale in the house so I'm not for sure. The 3 pills a day of 500 milligrams of Metformin are supposed to help me lose the weight faster but I'm wondering if it's still enough. I almost feel like the side effects go away when the pills stop being effective.
I also feel like this is the only thing that I think about anymore! I'm almost to the point where I just want to give up on trying but I know that won't change anything. It would only make how I feel about matters even worse. I find small distractions and dive into them. I guess it isn't a bad thing but it's obvious that it's a distraction.
Monday, July 23, 2012
I have never been more happy to start a period!
I took my last pill of Provera on Saturday. Here it is, two days later, and I started today! This means that everything is right on track. This means that I should ovulate between August 5th and 9th. Here's hoping things continue to go well!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Recent days
Not much to report really. Most of the side effects from the Provera have gone away so that is a definite positive.
M had been working all week and yesterday and today were finally hours days off and we got to spend some time together. I feel bad because he didn't get much of a weekend but now we have a clean house to show for it. We woke up at 8am today, which is super early for us, and rearranged and cleaned the house. It seems so much bigger!
Monday, July 16, 2012
The little things.
I feel like I should talk about something else but it's the only thing I can think about lately... Yesterday, I forgot to eat. I mean all day. I know how a lot of people say "How can you forget to eat?" but when I'm home alone and M is at work, I don't really think about it. I try to find things to distract myself from him being gone. Yesterday was actually a nice day. I put the computer down! I decided that I was going to get some reading done before next semester starts. I actually finished reading book one of three out of the series that I'm reading right now. I promised myself that I would edit my own novel some but never got around to it.
I actually showered while I was home alone yesterday. It doesn't sound like a big deal but it is. I've always had an extreme paranoia about doing things that dull my senses when I'm home alone because something could happen at any moment. Crazy? Yes but I know that it is and it's something I'm working on, especially because it seems like M is always at work and I'm always here alone. We'll just say that I can thank my mother for the paranoia. I didn't have the best childhood. Maybe I'll talk about that some day but today wouldn't be it.
I'm just trying not to think about what things will be like when next semester starts again. It already feels like M is at work all the time and, when school comes, he'll be working full time and going to school full time. I know that we can make it through this but I'm really scared about the loneliness for both of us when that time comes. I think we may even need to get another car.
I actually showered while I was home alone yesterday. It doesn't sound like a big deal but it is. I've always had an extreme paranoia about doing things that dull my senses when I'm home alone because something could happen at any moment. Crazy? Yes but I know that it is and it's something I'm working on, especially because it seems like M is always at work and I'm always here alone. We'll just say that I can thank my mother for the paranoia. I didn't have the best childhood. Maybe I'll talk about that some day but today wouldn't be it.
I'm just trying not to think about what things will be like when next semester starts again. It already feels like M is at work all the time and, when school comes, he'll be working full time and going to school full time. I know that we can make it through this but I'm really scared about the loneliness for both of us when that time comes. I think we may even need to get another car.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
My hair
I think that I should remember that one of the side effects of the Provera is hair loss. Note to self: just because you wash your hair doesn't mean that you don't need to brush it too. I think half of my hair is on the bathroom floor. I have this bad habit of just throwing it up into a bun instead of brushing it and then I end up with one big dreadlock. My goal: brush my hair at least once a week.
Side effects or stress?
Yesterday was day 3 or 4 (I would have to look at the calendar) of taking Provera. I'm supposed to take it for 10 days and then wait until my period starts. It makes me dizzy and nauseated but i can handle that. The Metformin alone (which I have been on for 9 months) makes me sick to my stomach so it's only a little worse when adding the Provera. Yesterday, I got a massive headache. I don't know if it was the Provera or stress but it was horrible. My doctor told me to try not to mix any more medications, herbs or chemicals with the medications that he put me on so I couldn't even take an Aleve. It only got worse as the day went on and seems to have gone away while I was asleep but I'm hoping there will be no more headaches. I get them enough without the medications.
I mentioned before that I was put on Metformin 9 months ago. My doctor put me on it because I am overweight, obese even. In October, at my last annual, I weighed in at 290 pounds. It was the heaviest I had ever been. At my last appointment, I lost almost 15 pounds and am now 276ish. The weight loss is good but the amount of time seems like forever. He told me that my chances of conceiving will double if I can get down around 220 or even 230 pounds. I'm starting to take my Metformin on time every day. I'm on 3 pills a day at 500 mg each. It's the highest dosage that I've seen even when looking at other blogs. I guess, now that I'm taking them with more consistency, I may get better results.
Right now, M and I live in a very small apartment. It's nice because it's secluded from the rest of the house but it seems like it may be too small even just for us. We know that, when we do get pregnant, we are going to be moving. We're wondering if it may be a good idea to move before then. I would like to have a nursery to set up and a kitchen big enough to cook in. I'm willing to stay where we are for even longer so we can save more money but I don't know if there will even be a difference in the long run. I've been looking at places close by and have found some that seem almost promising but we still have not decided what we are going to do.
As far as money goes, I think we finally figured it out. M and I are both full time students during the Fall and Spring and we will be taking the Summer Semester off. We get student loans and grants (trust me, I know how bad of an idea loans are but they are necessary). M works full time and I just do school. No matter when we get pregnant, I'm planning on continuing my education through it. This next semester, we are going to try a new budgeting plan. We get all of our money for the semester in one lump right before classes start. The plan is to take that money and pay up all of our bills until the following semester. That includes rent, electric, gas, cell phones, etc. Hopefully, by doing that, we can look to M's paychecks for food, gas and anything else we may need. The only problem that I can see with the plan is that, between getting school money and his first check, we are going to be pretty broke. I think we can handle that small amount of time to get things in order though.
I mentioned before that I was put on Metformin 9 months ago. My doctor put me on it because I am overweight, obese even. In October, at my last annual, I weighed in at 290 pounds. It was the heaviest I had ever been. At my last appointment, I lost almost 15 pounds and am now 276ish. The weight loss is good but the amount of time seems like forever. He told me that my chances of conceiving will double if I can get down around 220 or even 230 pounds. I'm starting to take my Metformin on time every day. I'm on 3 pills a day at 500 mg each. It's the highest dosage that I've seen even when looking at other blogs. I guess, now that I'm taking them with more consistency, I may get better results.
Right now, M and I live in a very small apartment. It's nice because it's secluded from the rest of the house but it seems like it may be too small even just for us. We know that, when we do get pregnant, we are going to be moving. We're wondering if it may be a good idea to move before then. I would like to have a nursery to set up and a kitchen big enough to cook in. I'm willing to stay where we are for even longer so we can save more money but I don't know if there will even be a difference in the long run. I've been looking at places close by and have found some that seem almost promising but we still have not decided what we are going to do.
As far as money goes, I think we finally figured it out. M and I are both full time students during the Fall and Spring and we will be taking the Summer Semester off. We get student loans and grants (trust me, I know how bad of an idea loans are but they are necessary). M works full time and I just do school. No matter when we get pregnant, I'm planning on continuing my education through it. This next semester, we are going to try a new budgeting plan. We get all of our money for the semester in one lump right before classes start. The plan is to take that money and pay up all of our bills until the following semester. That includes rent, electric, gas, cell phones, etc. Hopefully, by doing that, we can look to M's paychecks for food, gas and anything else we may need. The only problem that I can see with the plan is that, between getting school money and his first check, we are going to be pretty broke. I think we can handle that small amount of time to get things in order though.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Baby Making
I hate to start things off on a serious note so I posted the intro first, however, this matter has been very prominent in my mind. M (my husband) and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. We tried naturally for about 6 months and then my doctor put me on Metformin and we tried that for about 6 months. This month marks 12 months of trying. 12 months of trying with no baby is the definition of infertility. This has been playing on my mind pretty hard and slowly killing me inside. While everybody around me is getting pregnant or having babies, I can't do it.
One of the hardest parts is that I don't have anybody to talk to about it that understands. Almost none of my friends planned their pregnancies, they just happened. Even the ones that did plan them, were able to conceive immediately. My family is another matter altogether too. My mother tries to be a support but she has no idea what it's like to not be able to get pregnant. None of her children were planned. They all just happened because she's nice and fertile.
I know that M really wants this but I don't think that it feels like a failure to him. For a woman, not being able to get pregnant is like a man being born without testicles or something. I don't know exactly what to equate it to but it makes me feel like I'm not a woman.
Anyway, so we went into the doctor and he put me on some things to help. He thinks that I'm not ovulating because of how irregular my girl time is so he put me on Provera to help regulate me and Clomid to make me ovulate. It's a low dosage of the Clomid for now but I have to go back in on the 25th day of my cycle so they can measure the progesterone and see if I did ovulate. If I did, maybe we'll be pregnant? If I didn't, they up the dose. I've read a lot of success stories about this stuff so I hope it works!
One of the hardest parts is that I don't have anybody to talk to about it that understands. Almost none of my friends planned their pregnancies, they just happened. Even the ones that did plan them, were able to conceive immediately. My family is another matter altogether too. My mother tries to be a support but she has no idea what it's like to not be able to get pregnant. None of her children were planned. They all just happened because she's nice and fertile.
I know that M really wants this but I don't think that it feels like a failure to him. For a woman, not being able to get pregnant is like a man being born without testicles or something. I don't know exactly what to equate it to but it makes me feel like I'm not a woman.
Anyway, so we went into the doctor and he put me on some things to help. He thinks that I'm not ovulating because of how irregular my girl time is so he put me on Provera to help regulate me and Clomid to make me ovulate. It's a low dosage of the Clomid for now but I have to go back in on the 25th day of my cycle so they can measure the progesterone and see if I did ovulate. If I did, maybe we'll be pregnant? If I didn't, they up the dose. I've read a lot of success stories about this stuff so I hope it works!
Introduction
Hello everybody! Welcome to my story! I don't know where I'm going to start out or where we'll end up but thanks for coming along for the ride! In the following (enter time this blog will be running), you will read of all kinds of aspects of my life. That means the good as well as the bad. I welcome your comments and questions and look forward to reading and responding to all of them!
First thing, if you know me, then you are reading this page because I love and trust you. Please don't post any comments that would identify me to anybody that doesn't know me. This doesn't mean that I don't want you to be involved! It just means that I would prefer if you would refrain from stating our relationship, my full name, etc.
Let's see... Introduction means that I should say something about me, huh? I'm 25 years old, a full time student and married to the love of my life. I have 2 furbabies (one dog and one cat) that I love with all of my heart. We feel that the only thing we need to make our family complete is a baby and we're working on that one.
Why did I choose the name 'the dancing unicorn'? First, because unicorns are mysterious fantasy creatures and I think that they need to dance more often. We all have some silly in us, so why can't they? Second, because I don't feel like it hints at posting about any one thing. I will be mixing it up quite a bit.
First thing, if you know me, then you are reading this page because I love and trust you. Please don't post any comments that would identify me to anybody that doesn't know me. This doesn't mean that I don't want you to be involved! It just means that I would prefer if you would refrain from stating our relationship, my full name, etc.
Let's see... Introduction means that I should say something about me, huh? I'm 25 years old, a full time student and married to the love of my life. I have 2 furbabies (one dog and one cat) that I love with all of my heart. We feel that the only thing we need to make our family complete is a baby and we're working on that one.
Why did I choose the name 'the dancing unicorn'? First, because unicorns are mysterious fantasy creatures and I think that they need to dance more often. We all have some silly in us, so why can't they? Second, because I don't feel like it hints at posting about any one thing. I will be mixing it up quite a bit.
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