So, I finally called the doctor to get the results for the semen analysis M was subjected to. They told me that, not only does everything look great, but his count is really high. I have to admit that I was super happy when they told me that but, at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about what that means. Whatever the reason is that we can't get pregnant, I'm responsible for it. We haven't even finished off our first round of the Clomid yet but it made me feel horrible. I'm happy that everything with M is great but it really damaged my ego to know that it's my fault.
We are on day number 4 of the clomid cycle and day 8 of my cycle. That means that tomorrow is my last day of taking the Clomid and then I get to go back into the doctor's office on day 25 of my cycle so he can do a serum progesterone test. He says that the test will tell us if I have ovulated. I'm still hopeful that the first time will be the charm for us but I'm not expecting it.
I just can't stop wondering why we haven't been able to conceive. The first thing that keeps coming into my head is my weight. I lost some as of my last appointment but it isn't enough to make that much of a difference yet. I've been taking my Metformin every day on time so maybe I have lost some but I don't keep a scale in the house so I'm not for sure. The 3 pills a day of 500 milligrams of Metformin are supposed to help me lose the weight faster but I'm wondering if it's still enough. I almost feel like the side effects go away when the pills stop being effective.
I also feel like this is the only thing that I think about anymore! I'm almost to the point where I just want to give up on trying but I know that won't change anything. It would only make how I feel about matters even worse. I find small distractions and dive into them. I guess it isn't a bad thing but it's obvious that it's a distraction.
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