The little things.

I feel like I should talk about something else but it's the only thing I can think about lately...  Yesterday, I forgot to eat.  I mean all day.  I know how a lot of people say "How can you forget to eat?" but when I'm home alone and M is at work, I don't really think about it.  I try to find things to distract myself from him being gone.  Yesterday was actually a nice day.  I put the computer down!  I decided that I was going to get some reading done before next semester starts.  I actually finished reading book one of three out of the series that I'm reading right now.  I promised myself that I would edit my own novel some but never got around to it.

I actually showered while I was home alone yesterday.  It doesn't sound like a big deal but it is.  I've always had an extreme paranoia about doing things that dull my senses when I'm home alone because something could happen at any moment.  Crazy?  Yes but I know that it is and it's something I'm working on, especially because it seems like M is always at work and I'm always here alone.  We'll just say that I can thank my mother for the paranoia.  I didn't have the best childhood.  Maybe I'll talk about that some day but today wouldn't be it. 

I'm just trying not to think about what things will be like when next semester starts again.  It already feels like M is at work all the time and, when school comes, he'll be working full time and going to school full time.  I know that we can make it through this but I'm really scared about the loneliness for both of us when that time comes.  I think we may even need to get another car.